The Only Worthy Opponent Was Myself

"In times of peace the warlike man attacks himself." - Eliot Spitzer

"What strange new hell is this?" - Barack Obama, 4 July 1998

Nation Runs Back to Kanye like Rihanna to Chris Brown
- USA Today

"Comparing an artist to Andy Warhol is like finishing a game of pool in which some one has already sunk the eight-ball." - Andy Warhol

"There's a strange footnote in that case where Justice Thomas admits perjury."
"What case?"
"Bush v. Gore"
- Charlie Rose to Jeffrey Rosen

"Supreme Court transcripts are hilarious. Those people really need to go to the guillotine." -Former Solicitor General Ted Olson

"It feels so good not to be a nigger any more." - Juan Williams

Q: What did the foetus say to the teen mother?
A: Abort me.

"I set my law degree on fire to work for a comedy magazine!" - Editors of The Onion